A man is walking through the recreation ground of his local park when he notices a huge fight in full fury on the football pitch he is passing.  “What’s going on?” he asks a spectator watching from the sidelines.  The other replies “It’s a match between the Masons and the Knights of Columbus.”  “What’s the score?” asks the first man.  “I don’t know, it’s a secret.”

A man had been convicted of murder and was about to be hanged. Just before the sentence was executed, the hangman asked the man if he had any last words. “Yes” came his reply, “I hate Masons!” “Why do you hate Masons?” asked the hangman. “The man I killed was a Mason,” explained the murderer, “the sheriff who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a Mason, the Judge who presided at the trial was a Mason, and all of the men on the jury who found me guilty and said I should be hanged were Masons!” “Is that all?” asked the hangman.  “Yes” replied the convicted murderer. “Then you will advance one step with your left foot.”  [You have to know Masonic ritual to appreciate this one.]

Q: Why aren’t women allowed into Freemasonry?

A: Imagine telling your wife that you had a Worshipful Mistress in the Lodge!

A: It’s a secret!

Do you know any good, clean jokes about lodges?  If so, please send them to “LIL” at the e-mail address below.  Thanks.